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<\/a><\/p>\n\u2018Twas a late Eighties afternoon when I found my hetero-life-mate, Chris Greaves (velvet- fingered axeman extraordinaire famed for his work with seminal acts such as Judgement, Gangland, Big Guns, and Gallini), wide-eyed at the news that \u2018The Edge of Hell\u2019 now graced the shelves at one of our many (now, sadly, long-lost) video shops. \u2018The Edge of Hell\u2019, to the uninitiated (not us, obviously), was the alternate title given to the UK video release of 1987\u2019s \u2018Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019, one of two entries for director John Fasano in the (much too short) list of Eighties Heavy Metal Horror Movies – the following year\u2019s Carmine Appice-starring Black Roses being the second. It was another name on the credits, transformed into a painted, muscle-bound warrior on the VHS cover art, that piqued the interest of us Eighties metal kids, however…<\/p>\n
Jon Mikl Thor was the first Canadian to win both the Mr. Canada and Mr. USA bodybuilding titles. He was also the first Canadian to wrap a micstand around the neck of a pretend milkman live on UK Saturday morning children\u2019s television show, No. 73. An infamous performance at the Marquee paved the way for Thor\u2019s manly explosion over British pop culture – singles \u2018Let the Blood Run Red\u2019 and \u2018Thundra on the Tundra\u2019, plucked from 1985\u2019s \u2018Only the Strong\u2019 long player, making a bicep-shaped dent in both the UK charts and consciousness – before North America caught on and he was cast in his first movie role; playing Thunderhead in Police Academy rip-off, \u2018Recruits\u2019. His next two movie roles are the ones that he is truly remembered for, though.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u2018Zombie Nightmare\u2019 starred Tia Carrere and Adam West and found Thor as a slain baseball player resurrected (via voodoo!) to avenge his death. The soundtrack featured Mot\u00f6rhead, Girlschool, Fist, and Virgin Steele and, as an indicator to the movie\u2019s quality, it was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was \u2018Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019, however, that really put Jon Mikl Thor on the movie map. Thor played John Triton – frontman of the band, Triton – who travelled to an isolated Canadian farmhouse to record some new music par excellence not knowing that said location was littered with demons! The twist at the end of the flick, as Satan himself (a big friggin\u2019 ant thing – who knew?!) appeared, was that John Triton was in fact the archangel known as the Intercessor. Forget your Keyser S\u00f6ze reveal – this is the real shit! Anyway, the Intercessor showed El Diablo the four corners of the farmhouse and a Heavy Metal Horror Icon was born. Seriously, you need the Synapse Films special edition DVD release of \u2018Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019 in your collection.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Yes, RPM-people, a sequel to one of the most infamous rock-related movies of all time was released over a decade ago and hardly any of us knew about it. The shame!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In the so-bad-it\u2019s-good stakes, \u2018Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019 is right up there with the classics. After importing \u2018Intercessor: Another Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019 from the States, paying way too much for it, and forcing myself to sit through it twice, I\u2019m not even sure that it reaches the heights of just bad. It is, in fact, diabolical. But, as I learned from cribbing all John Waters\u2019 writings, there is such a thing as good bad taste… and I needed to give my good bad tastebuds a treat that they wouldn\u2019t forget in a hurry…<\/p>\n \u2018Intercessor: Another Rock \u2019n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019 is a no-budget flick that makes Thor\u2019s appearance on No. 73 look like Emmy Award-winning television. The late John Fasano got a producing credit, and as for acting credits – well, I\u2019m sure every single one contravenes the Trade Descriptions Act. The plot revolves around a feud between Zompira, King of the Undead, and Mephisto, a dark sorcerer from the depths of Hell. A spell has allowed these miscreants to come to Earth in order to corrupt and devour the souls of the innocent. Caught up in all of this is Harry, a long-haired loner with a crutch, arm brace, and a penchant for drawing muscle-bound comic-book heroes. He has a crush on his neighbour, Julie, and keeps in contact with her via walkie-talkie. This was 2005, remember! He lives with his sewing-obsessed aunt and, POW, there\u2019s a zombie attack where she gets turned, Julie gets abducted, and the world is in danger. I know this because I gave myself a migraine struggling to hear what the fuck was going on due to the movie\u2019s terrible sound. Harry dresses up like a member of Raven – shoulder pads, gridiron helmet with \u2018Tritons\u2019 logo (tenuous link to previous flick) – and starts offing the undead with his crutch. I\u2019ve actually made this all sound quite good. DON\u2019T trust me on this one!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Meanwhile, a muscle-bound loner in a Man from Del Monte hat duffs up a rude customer in a coffee shop – \u201cI\u2019m just trying to enjoy my coffee…\u201d – and you\u2019ll never guess who it is. It\u2019s John Triton, the Intercessor; cursed to wander the Earth as a mortal! Cursed, that is, until Harry is offed and his NFL helmet morphs into the Intercessor\u2019s Crimson Glory-esque face mask. Now, bedecked with cape and mask, and with a weapon that looks like a dog-dick-dildo, the Intercessor is ready to take on all nefarious ne\u2019er-do-wells! He keeps the dogs away by fighting a vicious canine (complete with ludicrous dubbed-on human doing dog impression sound) – \u201cStop hound!\u201d – then gets attacked by a tree branch. He takes on some am-dram witches – \u201cI never wanted to hit a woman but… thou is not!\u201d – and gets involved in some chopsocky fighting that makes vintage British Saturday afternoon wrestling look like the Bolshoi Ballet.<\/p>\n The special effects look like they came from a shitty iPhone app – not unlike a video I made years ago that showed Adam Bomb getting blown up by laser missiles as he shredded onstage at the Doll\u2019s House in Abertillery – and, even though I have a penchant for bad movies, I struggled to get through this one mentally unscathed. I suggest that the only way to truly enjoy this one is via a house party where Absinthe imbibing and marker-sniffing is rife. You\u2019re all invited – Adam Bomb is playing. Bring a pretend missile.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I\u2019ll be back next month, souring the festive season with another nostalgia-driven column. Feel free to join me – I\u2019m sure that I\u2019ll luck out soon and one of these articles will actually be interesting! Remember, look them in the eyes, knock them down to size, no-one must oppose the Metal Avenger…<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Follow Pop Culture Schlock 365 on Twitter<\/a>, Instagram<\/a> & Facebook<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" POP CULTURE SCHLOCK at RPM: Exhibit F – Another Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare Roll up, roll up; get your hastily-typed feature on a long-forgotten piece of RnR history here! It\u2019s good to be back among the virtual pages of RPM once again as I dust off another rocking relic from the Pop Culture Schlock archive […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8474,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[4096,4099,4097,4098,4095,1695,4109,4100,4107,4105,4106,1344,4102,4101,4104,4110,1343,2266,4093,4103,4094,4108],"class_list":["post-9766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature","tag-black-roses","tag-death-metal-zombies","tag-hard-rock-zombies","tag-rocktober-blood","tag-trick-or-treat","tag-adam-bomb","tag-adam-west","tag-after-party-massacre","tag-and-virgin-steele","tag-billy-eye-harper","tag-fist","tag-girlschool","tag-intercessor-another-rock-n-roll-nightmare","tag-john-fasano","tag-john-triton","tag-jon-mikl-thor","tag-motorhead","tag-pop-culture-schlock-365","tag-raven","tag-sammi-curr","tag-the-wild-family","tag-tia-carrere","post_format-post-format-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9766","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9766"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9766\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9779,"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9766\/revisions\/9779"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rpmonline.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>So, the Heavy Metal Horror Movie subgenre is woefully short of quality entrants. \u2018Trick or Treat\u2019, \u2018Black Roses\u2019, \u2018Hard Rock Zombies\u2019, \u2018Rocktober Blood\u2019, the Easy Action-featuring \u2018Blood Tracks\u2019, the Traci Lords-starring \u2018Shock \u2018em Dead\u2019 are the essentials alongside \u2018Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019; wannabe flicks like \u2018Death Metal Zombies\u2019 and \u2018After Party Massacre\u2019 honoured to join them, nevergonnabe movies like \u2018Queen of the Damned\u2019 and \u2018Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal\u2019 desperate to be considered in the same cult movie circles as Sammi Curr, John Triton, and Billy \u201cEye\u201d Harper. BUT, and it\u2019s a big ol\u2019 but, did you know that one of those notorious metal movies actually had a sequel that limped out into the ether almost two decades after the original movie\u2019s release? Of course you didn\u2019t because it was filmed straight to digital video, released straight to home video, and did as much business as The Wild Family\u2019s album. That movie is, drum roll please, 2005\u2019s \u2018Intercessor: Another Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll Nightmare\u2019.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n