Well, the night finally arrived half hoping it was a twisted joke and a massive prank but alas it wasn’t to be and true to their word The Hip Priests were about to pull the plug on their Ten Legged Rock Machine and sign off with a doubleheader in London and Nottingham. A sold-out Black Heart was the venue hosting the slow death of garage punk rock as we’ve known it for the last eighteen years and thankfully it was a sell-out as the faithful gathered to witness was to be a bitter night as we said goodbye in style to shit Islands finest most uncompromising exponents of loud zero fucks given, bastards sons and torch bearers of Lemmy, Ron Ashton and the MC5s just louder snivelling limey misfits.
I can’t remember how many times I’ve seen them over the years and all the lineups I’ve witnessed from Garry in his vest with Lee Love and his pork pie hat to skintight Tim, Lee and Austin playing slugfest without Von Cruz to another Slugfest which might well have been Von Cruz first gig or near enough where they potentially were never to be seen again after joining Ketamine Jesus’ cult to the ill fated Rebellion booking then covid to tonight and the farewell to the believers and zero fucks given to the haters or those who chose to not invest time or effort in the music..those who know know and we are the ones better off for giving a shit about this travelling circus of outsiders who just so happened to play some fucking awesome Garage punk rock n roll loudly.
Anyway on with the show. First up tonight were the former Bitch Queens Mel and Harry now fronting the hybrid rock n tecno Eurotrash by the name of the New Saints who played an impressive hardcore set of intense digital beats n techno tweaks mixed with Mels less Paul and Harry on vocals. Now it’s early days and I’d not heard many songs yet but this was half of Bitch Queens who rocked like fuck so whilst getting acquainted with the new direction I’m sure there will be more RPM column inches dedicated to these cut-off-wearing reprobates. If you’re looking for a reference point maybe a distorted hybrid of classic Alice Cooper meets Depeche Mode playing Turbonegro on Creaming Jesus’ stereo in between some Leather nun offcuts (imagine that whilst tripping your tits off) you might be heading in the right direction ‘No Hope’ is a banger.
They were followed by long-time stage sharers who happen to have some new music in the off but didn’t bring any to flog (the lazy sods). Flash House play an uncompromising brand of Motorhead meets Zeke meets The Hip Priests meets a dozen other noisy motherfuckers with a hard-rockin’ Roy Wood on lead guitar and vocals which is fantastic if you get it and I do. As the place got busy and the temperature got higher their wall of noise got more intense and it was great to hear the band after several years off the scene in fact the last time I might have been in the same venue as them was the pipeline supporting The Hip Priests at Deathtime Assembly and they haven’t changed a bit and nor should they. The world needs more Flash House. ‘Three Wise Monkeys’ is still a fuckin brutal killer track any day of the week.
Thankfully I found the air con and didn’t feel like I was about to crash and burn and turn into a puddle of sweat just in time for Sweden’s Scumbag Millionaire to take the compact confines of The Black Heart stage. The audience squeezed closer as the Swedes turned in a really impressive hard rockin’ piano tonkin set of killer high voltage rock n roll. I even took some real cash money (remember that?) to pick up some wax goodies from the merch booth but alas they also forgot to put copies of their records in with their y fronts n snakeskin boots ho hum it’s import taxes and high postage then because they’ve released some killer records over the years and this was a first time tonight for me and popping my Scumbag virginity was a sweet thing and they were every bit as impressive as I’d hoped they’d be.
With a sweaty packed out room they hammered out the keys and rocked like a beast and I only hope it’s not the last time I get to see them hit these shores. With a catalogue almost as impressive as tonight’s headliners There was so much to choose from and their set flew by as the band played faster and harder knowing that time was of the essence but if you’re going to have top-notch support bands then this line-up tonight was truly spectacular and very much appreciated and the audience was totally into Swedens finest. So until next time that’ll do very nicely it was like going back to when ‘Supershitty’ and ‘Total 13′ were forces to be reckoned with and the added keyboards were excellent. A top headline rockin’ band is Scumbag Millionaire you should check them out!
Right the time has come and some are emotional and some are playing it down but everyone will admit to being a little excited as to how this is going to unfold and how this machine will be terminated and the life support switched off. As I mentioned in my introduction I’ve been fortunate enough to have witnessed the band quite early in their journey and through many changes, especially the spinal tap like drummer situation and the amount of time we thought this is it the ladder has been dropped and the ascension to fame and fortune is around the next bend, as the fairly decent people of shit island catch up but alas, its all taken its toll and the latest EP, ‘We Become Nothing’ pressed on 10″ wax is to be the final nail in a bulging coffin of zero fuck given.
I wasn’t really bothered what tonight’s set consisted of or if any former members would get up n play I just wanted to have a good time and see the band kick ass and go out on top form still giving zero fucks but leaving a good-looking corpse. From the early songs dished out from ‘The Best Revenge’ through ‘Sha Na Nihilist’ followed by a breakneck version of ‘Gang Of One’ they weren’t messing about and tonight was already shaping up to be something special.
It was ironic that Von Cruz had trouble with the mic for ‘Zero Fucks Given’ but it didn’t matter at all it sounded great and the Spasm Gang were in fine voice anyway. I have to admit by the time they broke into ‘No Time’ they seemed to step it up a gear and this was one of those special moments you get from time to time and the full ten-minute marathon was more like a sprint with the minutes flying by and another memorable moment watching the Hip Priest was just locked in. Truly spectacular I’m glad I spent three figures on train fares and an overnight stay in a shitty over priced London Hotel I wouldn’t want to miss this for anything.
By the time we reached ‘Young Savage’ and Austin and Lee had said their goodbyes it did get a little emotional and there was still time to take it back and give it one last shot I know a room in Camden where the entire audience would be delighted with that choice.
We were done the band shuffled off the compact stage only to return and knock out ‘Sonic Reproducer’ and finally they went nuclear one last time for me on ‘Juiced’ and that was it Ronnie Spector filled the PA with her and Joey Ramones cover of ‘Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory’ and it was done we filed out of the sweaty upstairs room one last time and all disappeared into the smokey Camden Night air knowing we’d seen shit Islands mother fucker superiors one last time. They came they saw and they fuckin delivered time after time. It’s been emotional gentlemen now all please fuck off and make more music with other people and never ever darken our venues again with The Black Denim Blitz.
Eighteen years is a fuckin life sentence, there have been Spasm Gang members who didn’t make it and they were remembered with some fitting words, this little gang grew into a much larger gang it wasn’t of one but many but we were all united by one, one great underappreciated, noisy, fast, obnoxious, uncompromising, DIY, punk rock band Rest In Peace You Hip Priests – you beautiful bastards. Long Live The Mother fuckin’ Hip Priests! It was emotional and we shared some great times that can never be taken away but we still have the music. Play it loud and play it often brothers and sisters we were the lucky ones just remember that.
Author: Spasm Gang Member #3 signing out.
Some Pics courtesy of King Thomas Spasm Gang #100
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