It’s been five years between ‘We’re Still Dead’ and ‘Please Chesty’ five years one pandemic, two presidents, a shit show in the UK, and Europe on fire but through all that bad shit we’ve had punk rockers burrowing away in lockdowns writing punk rock in different way but always coming back to what sounds best. thirteen songs in less than three-quarters of an hour every one as fast as the last, soaked in attitude and spat out ten to the dozen. the solos rage and the vocals are like a headbutt you weren’t expecting.

‘The Worthy And The Worthless’ sounds exactly like you’d expect. It’s got a razorblade raw guitar riff and Chesty is slicing up those vocals testing your tinnitus to the max. Now when I said every song was as fast as the last I meant it. Don’t get sucked in by the intro on ‘No One’s Dying’ its something of a false start before we have lift off!

‘The Fine Art Of Choking’ is right up there with the best songs the band has ever made. It’s toe tap tastic and the gang vocals are bruising. It’s a vicious song with lyrics that intimidate and deliver. Horror punk meets hardcore in one delicious three minutes banger.

There might be a small fascination with death and how to achieve it but the music matches the titles ‘Axing Doesn’t Hurt’ or so Chesty says but I wouldn’t like to put it to the test however, I’d like to speed down the high street on a busy Saturday with this busting out of the speakers pissing off ever man woman and child because I can and that’s how Chesty and the boys make me feel. Punk as fuck, never overcomplicating things and sometimes just giving those instruments a damned good hiding.

‘Antibiotic Death’ continues the horror but ‘Ticket Wallet Drugs & Chicken’ is like the Wildhearts if they were born on B movies and east coast punk rock it’s punk as fuck and winning the race to the bottom of the swamp. When you have a love of class punk and thrash metal and everything in between you can write songs like ‘Torture Rock’ and pull it off. It’s easy to miss the point and make a horrible mess of crossing over but these veterans of the East Coast make it sound easy.

They even go for some heavy as fuck Punk Rock Blues on ‘Satan Never Sleeps’ where the band just slays it with twisted licks whilst Chesty sounds like she’s finally gone insane. I’d love to be in a hot sweaty pit for ’13 Punks’ windmilling and slam dancing my way through a proper punk rock workout to this evil speedball of a tune.

Whisper this quietly but if the Misfits were to have recorded songs like ‘Flesh Peeling Angel or ‘Energy Vampire’ people would be going crazy for it. They didn’t because Chesty Malone & The Slice Em Ups have and people in the know will get it and love every second of this filthy and furious skull cracker of a record. They sign off with the pit-pleasing ‘Planet Impossible’ Hardcore as Fuck and a lot of fun. Chesty Malone & The Slice Em Ups have another killer platter of punk on their hands and I love it! Go stream this album to your heart’s content and when you’ve finished go delve into their back catalogue, oh and check out their covers EP – You’ve been warned or Chesty’s comin’ round to hurt ya!

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Author: Dom Daley