After the blast off and the countdown, Blag and the gang are feeling great with a little slice of punk rock sunshine complete with lush harmonies and a melody to die for. How could The Dwarves ever be cancelled with songs this happy? It’s sunshine, rainbows and unicorns and a melodic guitar solo to swing your pants to. oh yes, and lyrics about masterbating (well it is the motherfuckin Dwarves for Gawds Sake). He’ll its the Dwarves boys n girls and if you don’t like it fuck you! Go listen to Nickelback. They’ve never been PC and anyone whose followed them or read Vadges book knows that this is who they are a bunch of depraved guys who happen to write awesome music and seriously dangerous live shows. Hell they’ve got a big pile of books made out of paper on the cover n all what more could you possibly want?

How haven’t the cancel culture warriors from the right not taken a swing at Blag and the gang. Tits on the artwork, songs about wanking and Satan and fucking. Oh and terrorism. Go Blag you crazy fucker I ain’t been this excited since dessert storm either.

‘Terrorist’ is full throttle don’t fuck with us Dwarves in full flight. The band sounds magnificent and the effortless energy is a joy to behold. In true Dwarves fashion its turns the amps up and let’s go, It’s off like a fuckin rocket. ‘Ages Ago’ goes through the gears before any chance of pausing for breath.

Wait what’s this, some horns honking, hand claps, and surfing chops on the guitar as ‘Dead To Me’ tells a twisted tale on this most fucked up of duets. Pure Blag genius and the organ is like they’ve kidnapped some prime-time Rudi Petruddi and his Fuzztones.

‘Do It All The Time’ is heavy as fuck chugging riff through a grinding rhythm like being high on spice when the weather hits 110 – intense. A couple of twists and turns through safe Dwarves territory and we hit the halfway point of this twenty-track masterpiece. Oh yeah, tipper stickers are ready to warn the kids of the content of this record as ‘ Everybody Squirts’ makes way via a seaway of testimony about a typical Dwarves day on the road before ‘Kill Or Be Killed’ kicks down some doors.

‘You Lose We Win’ is as hard and heavy as the Dwarves get Thrashing away like prize fighters. One of the highlights is ‘Parasite’ with its swirling organ (oh er mrs) and hand claps and some great licks from the guitars.

Wrecks everything ‘Comes Unglued’ on the unhinged brain fuck  of a track. ‘We Will Dare’ just glides by on one of those Dwarves’ melodies. It’s familiar territory but they do it so well. ‘Lean’ is punk if Slayer were to return as punks. It’ll fuck with your brain but I think it’s a Dwarves interlude to let the listener regain their composure before sailing off on ‘Ain’t Playing With You’ We’re in the home straight now as ‘Sixteen’ rocks out before Thrashing about on ‘Stabbed My Dad’, yeah perfect, what a pleasant title for a frenzied fling before signing off this beast of a record with ‘All For You’ and you know that Blag is being sincere here and bowing out letting us know why these depraved individuals who make up the Dwarves are true altruistic punk rockers who only do it for us the fans and nothing to do with sex, drugs, and money or self-gratification it’s all about giving and on ‘Concept’ The Dwarves have delivered once again. Give give give. And on behalf of Joe Public can I say thank you so much for delivering again and again. The concept is a winner and over time might well grow to be up there with one off their finest most consistent records yet. Just don’t die or get canceled. Buy it!

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Author: Dom Daley

THE DWARVES Concept Album comes out November 17! This sprawling 20 song record covers every style from hardcore to garage rock and surf music, experimental noise, pop punk duets and bar band rock & roll. One look at the classic (censored) cover shot by F. Scott Schafer tells you the mighty Dwarves have returned! So get ready for the album of the year and see the masters of mayhem when they tour pretty much everywhere!

Dwarves Facebook is here     Dwarves classic LP reissues available here

Blag’s CONTRABAND video is here.  Thrill to the wild trucker exploits of Ralph Champagne and the whole crew! This is the best video you will see this year! Animated by the Mad Twins, artistic sisters working out of war torn Ukraine!

Its the perfect way to start any week – go Ralph!

Next up is this new video courtesy of The Dogmatics. This raucous slice of Boston Garage Punk 101 spent 3 weeks at #1 on the Radio Indie Alliance overall Top Chart. Its the lead track from the bands new EP out on the awesome Rum Bar Records.

THE DWARVES were one of the first hardcore bands to regularly use samples, drum loops and found sounds, even on their earliest recordings where they used cassette tapes to generate them.

THE DWARVES teamed up with Top Ten producer Eric Valentine (Third Eye Blind, All American Rejects, Slash) to make their last 5 studio albums. He even showed up to some of the sessions! Valentine and Blag Dahlia helped write songs for Smashmouth and Skye Sweetnam.

Tune in tomorrow for some more Dwarves facts.

When the word was out Amazon was stocking copies of this filthy tome it was a no-brainer I was going to blag myself a copy (pun intended). Forward from Blag himself and page after page of on the road salacious stories of punk rock deprivation and the most un PC-like behaviour known to man.

I mean it did come with a warning so you wouldn’t just happen across this book whilst browsing for something to read and if you did then I have zero sympathies because, if you don’t know of the Dwarves then serves your right, not being a believer and fully being on board with what they’re about is a crime anyway and Vadge pulls no punches and doesn’t even attempt to flower this fucker up and goes straight for the bull’s eye. At times it comes across as like swearing in front of your nan and her friends from the church but another way of interpreting that is Vadge truly doesn’t give a flying fuck and just socks it to you the reader leaving no stone unturned and no doubt what he’s on about.

I did find myself giggling like a teenager at some of this shit like when you first read Viz on the school bus and got away with dropping a quote from the profanasaurus in a job interview Vadge is a degenerate, a randy, sexed-up, drunken pain in the arse and I’m sure he’d take that as a compliment (he should do).

If there is a cliche in rock and roll about hitting the road and having sex with groupies and drinking way too much and taking daft amounts of drugs off a stranger then you better believe it The Dwarves wrote the book (literally and wore the T-Shirt.

It’s a fairly compact book and Vadge doesn’t flower up any of his stories nor does he use a dozen words when one is enough. this book is one hundred and forty-five pages of sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll, and anyone who has seen the band can testify that they certainly walk the walk always have and always will.

I won’t spoil the stories but it’s safe to say there are GG Allin, Rex Everything and HeWhoCannotBeNamed stories and tales of ladies (who were willing victims its fair to say). For all the depravity and Vadges bandmates were no angels either its fair to point out as well. Vadge was next level and how he’s lived to tell his tale is a mystery. He does point out that it’s only the first installment of his life and crimes and there is more to come but I’m not sure he has anywhere he could take this further but I stand to be corrected on that.

It’s not your typical autobiography there is no childhood hard-luck story about that kid who escaped and toured the world but more chapters that are recollections of random tales that might gross you out then make you giggle but remember where your reading this and what you’re laughing at and good luck explaining to a work colleague what it is your giggling at and just who the fuck Vadge Moore and the Dwarves are.

My advice is if you’re a fan just buy it before the book gets taken down and/or Vadge is slung down some bottomless pit never to be seen again. I would however love to see Vadge at some book signing in Waterstones or the Hay-on-Wye literary festival reading a passage or two out of this memoir – now that would be special whilst Netflix thing they’re being all edgy showing Tommy and Pam or the Dirt my God a drama based on the life and crimes of The Dwarves on the road would be explosive and make the Crue see like an episode of the Teletubbies.

Buy Here

Author: Dom Daley