Quireboys release digital only live album

Quireboys release digital only live album

The Quireboys have today announced the digital-only audio release of their momentous 35th Anniversary performance at the O2 Forum Kentish Town in London on September 14th this year.

The gold and platinum disc recipients sold out their 35th Anniversary gig, and played a stunning set of 17 classic Quireboys tracks in front of over 2000 adoring fans, including major hits such as Hey You, I Don’t Love You Anymore, 7 O’Clock and Sex Party plus stunning tracks from their new album ‘Amazing Disgrace’ including 7 Deadly Sins and Original Black Eyed Son.

The setlist in full:

Hey You
There She Goes Again
Misled
Roses & Rings
Man on the Loose
Take Me Home
Sweet Mary Ann
Whippin’ Boy
I Don’t Love You Anymore
Long Time Comin’
7 O’Clock
Mona Lisa Smiled
7 Deadly Sins
Original Black Eyed Son
This is Rock’n’Roll
Sex Party and Mayfair

The lads are already deep into a world tour supporting their latest album ‘Amazing Disgrace’ – which includes dates in Europe, Australia and the US, which will keep them busy until deep into 2020.

The 35 & Live album is out on Today and can be pre-ordered: Here

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The Slop – The Slop (Outro Records)

The Slop – The Slop (Outro Records)

When a band gets in touch and says they’re influenced by a bunch of bands that pretty much name for name are the very same bands that are the heartbeat of your record collection why the fuck wouldn’t you jump on board and take them for a spin.  Well The Slop did just that and when I sat back with my pencil and a piece of paper in hand whilst the music jumped out of the speakers I had to sit up and give it my full attention because they do have The Cramps and Chuck Berry propping up their sound with just enough of That Ramones and Dead Boys DNA coursing through their veins. They’ve mainlined the likes of The Stones and Chuck Berry alongside plenty of Iggy and Stiv and its coursing through their veins into their DNA.  The Opener ‘Halloween’ is a sloppy Ramones meets Poison Ivy kinda junk vibe and an honest as the day is long grasp on what its all about.  but hey it gets better because ‘Godzilla’ is another romp on the wrong side of the tracks that goes faster and louder than the opener its rolled in trash and spat out lo-fi n all.  Its a lot of fun I know that much.

‘You and Me’ has a grand melody that’s been taken out the back and given a good kicking after the drums sound like they’ve been dragged behind a truck It’s a minute and a half of unbridled joy in audio form I know that much and ‘Feel So Good’ is everything you need to know in a song title.  It does exactly what it says on the tin with a Stooges rhythm hashed out through broken speakers it’s not in the gutter but if it drinks anymore it might be. There is a hint of Gunfire Dance going on here folks and it feels great.

The lyrics are as throwaway as the beer cans I guess and I’m hearing Baby a lot and I like that. ‘Airwaves’ is a Ramones melody they must have picked up from the ether that blew over from the LES.  Its a glorious bit of trash that gets into your ear and burrows deep but you like it, you like it a lot but only until ‘Rocker’ turns up.  Covering DC in the style that Chuck Berry intended it to be played is a beautiful thing.   It’s rapid and dangerous to know – simply irresistible from the screams to the solo you need this in your life.

It’s not just noise for the sake of noise damn you could dance to ‘Oh Yeah’ if you wanted to but be careful you don’t put a hip out or slip in those Cuban heels. You also get a lot of bang for your buck as well with fifteen songs on offer and it’s not front-loaded or gimmicky at all because my favourite is the snotty street fighter ‘I Can’t Take It’ with its choppy riff and brisk tempo and songs like ‘So Sick’ are like a bad bump or is that a good bump whatever its another cracker. But hey I’m outta breath, I can’t keep up with ‘Slop Bop’ is chaos reigning supreme over a traditional riff that Brian James would have been proud to lay down once upon a time. I guess what I’m trying to say is if you honestly really really like your Rock and Roll a little sloppy and a little bit dangerous and you haven’t gone soft and you still love noise with melodies and a bit of rhythm then you really do need to jump on this album its that good boy n girls.  As its that time of year as well why not ask Santa nicely for a copy I’m sure he’d love to deliver you one.

 

Buy The Slop Here

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Author: Dom Daley

Bitch Queens announce European tour dates

Bitch Queens announce European tour dates
Our favourite Basel Action rockers Bitch Queens are heading out the door to rock around the mainland on their City Of Class Tour.  They then plan to head back to shit island and Spain which will be announced soon.
20.12. Slow Club Freiburg (DE) w/ THE MONOFONES 
21.12. Fasskeller, Schaffhausen (CH) w/ BRONCO 
03.01. Horst , Saarbrücken (DE) 
4.1. Zebra Club, Hausen (DE) 
20.2. Klub Famu Prag (CZ)
21.2. Arena, Wien (A) w/ Boogie Hammer
22.2. Klub Falcon, Klatovy (CZ)
13.3. l’Atelier des Môles, Montbéliard (F)
14.3. Freak SHOW, Essen (DE)

UK & ESP to be announced soon.
City Of Class album Review Here

Gone But Not Forgotten – Pete Shelley 1955-2018

Gone But Not Forgotten – Pete Shelley 1955-2018
Photo by Andre Csillag

Today RPM would like to remember Peter Campbell McNeish born on 17 April 1955 but sadly passed away on this day twelve months ago of a suspected heart attack.  Can’t place the name? worry not because you will remember him as Pete Shelly one of the singer-songwriters from Buzzcocks and writer of classic punk tunes such as ‘Ever Fallen In Love (with Someone You Shouldn’t ‘ve?).

Shelley formed Buzzcocks with Howard Devoto after they met at the Bolton Institute of Technology in 1975 and after the pair travelled to High Wycombe, to see the Sex Pistols. The band included bassist Steve Diggle and drummer John Maher; They went on to make their debut supporting the Sex Pistols in their home town of Manchester.  After the band went onto an indefinate hiatus it was touring or being asked to open for Nirvana around North America that sparked a renewed interest in the band and they never looked back.

McNeish changed his name to Shelley after his favourite romantic poet which shouldn’t come as a surprise with the style of songs and the lyrics Pete wrote throughout his career.  From the debut classic ‘Spiral Scratch’ right through his solo years and up until his untimely passing as a member of the reformed Buzzcocks sadly he missed his bands playing at The Royal Albert Hall  Pete Shelley is sadly missed and has left a giant hole in the hearts of many fans around the globe.

The first three albums are regarded as the classic years where Shelly was thrust into the frontman role ably assisted by Diggle but it was Shelly’s melodies on hits like ‘Ever Fallen In Love’ and ‘What Do I Get?’ the band hit something of a wall in 81 after the release of ‘Singles Going Steady’ and a dispute with their then label.  He went on to have a decent solo career until he and Diggle reformed the band in 89 with the release of ‘Trade Test Transmission’.  there were several new albums from Buzzcocks including ‘The Way’ and ‘Flat Pack Philosophy’. His death was broken to the public through his brother Gary via Facebook.

Shelley had moved to Tallinn in Estonia, in 2012 with his second wife, Greta, an Estonian, he sited the less hectic pace there to that he had spent the last thirty years in London. He died in Estonia of a suspected heart attack on the morning of 6 December 2018. His passing rightly made the national news as he had so much left to give and Buzzcocks were still very capable of delivering devastating live performances with so many hits they tried to pack into their live show they never disappointed.  The band were heralded by the likes of John Peel who was synonymous with playing their singles before they were released and helping turn the public onto Shelley penned classics.

 

Shelley left behind a quite remarkable catalogue of records spanning several decades five solo albums, fourteen singles as for Buzzcocks; there were nine studio albums, five live albums, no less than thirteen compilation albums, ten EP’s and twenty-four singles.  It’s hard to believe looking back that the band never achieved a top ten single in the UK when you consider some of their most memorable releases.

 

Puppy & The Hand Jobs – ‘I Hate Everything’ (Slovenly Records)

Puppy & The Hand Jobs – ‘I Hate Everything’ (Slovenly Records)

PUPPY AND THE HAND JOBS (Yup, that’s their name) are apparently three obnoxiously jackoffs who (amazingly)  are back with another crude EP of filth-ridden, barely listenable/tolerable punk called ‘I Hate Everything’.

With seven songs crammed onto a seven inch single EP. VFM or what? Seems like some effort to make a record trying to alienate people to never buy your record (maybe these guys are minted and bored) in a way the likes of GG Allin could only have dreamt of.  Titles like ‘Cocksucker’ (all 36 seconds of it) and ‘Rocker Hag’ and ‘Predator’ a bass-heavy riff all about duck taping someone up in the trunk of your car and barely keeping them alive will always have an audience. It’s crash bang wallop with a Ramones influenced melody.  Puppy and the gang don’t seem too bothered about sound levels either which is why they hate everything I guess.  I’m surprised they can get their tongue out of their cheeks long enough to record this but hey fill yer boots.

Wait a minute ‘Plan 9’ is over a minute long and has a melody and a tune and sounds like some effort was used to write it at least. Is Puppy playing us all? to take this sucker home they leave us with ‘That’s Bullshit’ which must have taken all of 30 seconds to write which leaves me wondering how it lasts almost two minutes? it’s like punk-prog and having a bass-led breakdown and spoken words middle eight they’re getting ahead of their pay grade here which is absolutely Bullshit the noisy bastards.  If you like some filthy pointless punk rock then you should be all over this much like the X rated artwork that goes with the single and not the clean one they’ve sold out for on the digital version because they’d be banned.  Fuckin’ punk rock sellouts they really do hate everything. But it’s worth checking out for the artwork it’ll make every schoolboy chuckle out loud For fuck’s sake.

Bandcamp Here 

as for a Fecebook link, of course they’re not there these guys are punk as fuck!

Author: Dom Daley

 

 

Grave Pleasures – ‘Doomsday Roadburn’ (Svart Records/Code 7)

Grave Pleasures – ‘Doomsday Roadburn’ (Svart Records/Code 7)

This review was originally meant to be a live review of a recent Grave Pleasures show I attended but I was left that unimpressed by the band they were supporting that I thought “let’s review something you can still actually go out and buy and hopefully put some money in the bank for a band who really deserve it”.

For those of you who might not have heard of them yet, Grave Pleasures are a five piece Finnish post punk band with one foot very firmly placed in the Goth camp, their roots stretching back to a band called Beastmilk who released one astoundingly brilliant record called ‘Climax’ back in 2013. Fast forward to 2019 and two albums and two record deals later we find Pleasures mainmen vocalist Mat McNerney and bassist Valtteri Arino along with Juho Vanhanen and Aleksi Kiiskilä on guitars, and not forgetting the human dynamo that is Rainer Tuomikanto on drums, approaching the end of a two year road trip promoting their second studio album, ‘Motherblood’.

‘Doomsday Roadburn’ then is a (dark) celebration of Grave Pleasures time on the road and captures their 14 song set from Roadburn Festival 2018 in full, complete with the odd off vocal note and muted guitar string as all great live records should be, and anyone who knows the band’s back catalogue to date will see from checking out the tracklisting that it’s pretty much a greatest hits set, with not a single weak song in sight. The record itself is presented on double splatter vinyl housed in a gatefold sleeve complete with artwork by Daniel Martin Diaz, and including a large booklet with beautiful monochrome photos from the show. What more could a Grave Pleasures fan want for Christmas eh?

As the band did on the recent support stint I caught them on, the set is book ended by ‘Mind Intruder’ and ‘Joy Through Death’ whilst in between the energy the band conjures up has as much in common with The Stooges or Misfits as it does with say Depeche Mode melodically, and this right there is what makes Grave Pleasures so interesting, because in an age when musical demographics are used to the point of destruction to sell one hit wonders, Grave Pleasures transcend genres and for that reason alone it makes them something very unique indeed.

Of the songs featured here ‘Infatuation Overkill’ immediately brings back visions of Rainer Tuomikanto windmilling whilst systematically trying to destroy his 4 piece drum kit and when ‘Death Reflects Us’ finally pops up as track (unlucky) 13 I can but marvel at how this song was not a huge worldwide hit for the band (then known as Beastmilk). Yet as one of the two studio outtakes from the ‘Motherblood’ sessions added at the end of side four states ‘There Are Powers At Work In This World’ and you really must not let them stop you from sharing the greatness of Grave Pleasures in all their live glory.

‘Violence of Night’ is the second of the studio outtakes and if this brooding slab of goth had been released three decades earlier it would have immediately had gangs of spikey haired teenagers up on their mate’s shoulders chicken dancing like idiots, and sometimes the magic of a band really can be as simple as that.

So, having witnessed the guys make mincemeat of three Tigers just a week or so ago ‘Doomsday Roadburn’ acts to reinforce the point that whoever they play with Grave Pleasures are always going to come out on top, and this record defines what “Live & Dangerous” means for a whole new generation of music fans.

Essential!

Author: Johnny Hayward

Svart Records

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Midnite Snaxxx – ‘Music Inside’ (Slovenly Records)

Midnite Snaxxx – ‘Music Inside’ (Slovenly Records)

‘Music Inside’, the third album from MIDNITE SNAXXX, sees the band expand the envelope with their most eclectic recording yet. While the punky power pop is still very much their thing, they seem intent on not stopping here but venturing into new directions or do they?

Recorded in Los Angeles with DIE GROUP guru Eric Big Arm at the controls, ‘Music Inside’ captures Snaxxx at their most absorbing: the guitar interplay is dramatically increased, the rhythms strikingly more diverse and the songwriting infinitely more substantive. The album is rooted in bubblegum melodies with happy backbeats and from the opener and title track you might be forgiven for thinking these guys have just gorged themselves on 50s girl group vocals with cat scratch guitars going at it behind the vocals and playing nothing past the early 80s with the Banshees being their mainline inspiration with a few other valid scene makers thrown in for good measure.  With themes of frustration and personal/political anger.  ‘Lights Out’ has a tougher edge to the sound that’s like early 80s post-punk and it doesn’t hang around too long either. Another trate the band peddles.

‘She Don’t Want That’ sees hints at Banshees rhythms with some off-kilter rhythms and time changes. Its got the Slits meets bow wow wow meets poly styrene in a retro way.  ’12 O’Clock’ sounds like it was borrowed off Buzzcocks and never returned. ‘Gold Chains’ in another world would have seen the band become a Tube show staple.’Cyborg’ is a high-speed lo-fi slice of post-punk that doesn’t hang about which is something of a theme as most of the tunes are hovering around the two-minute mark just long enough before the Hubba bubba loses its flavour no doubt Midnite Snaxxx wouldn’t want to bore themselves would they so heads down and charge seems like a great idea.

MIDNITE SNAXXX might well fall between several stools by being Too punk for garage too garage for pop and too pop for the trendies which by default would make them punk as fuck wouldn’t it? I don’t dislike this record (far from it) I just don’t connect with it (if that makes any sense?) maybe that’s the point don’t overthink it just listen to it – dance to it – laugh with it just don’t ignore it. I’ll keep these tune handy because one day I might just crave me some disposable punk rock power pop that’s sugary sweet whilst being caustic and rough at the same time, that’s punk rock for you.

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Buy a copy of the record Here

Last Great Dreamers – Retrosexual (Ray Records)

Last Great Dreamers – Retrosexual (Ray Records)

Well well well.  This is a blast from the past and pressed on a chunky piece of plastic as well it’s the 25th anniversary of ‘Retrosexual’ so what better way to celebrate than to stick it out fully remastered and on the old deluxe 180g black circle.  Very nice indeed.

Man, I’m feeling a little down holding this record in my hand thinking its been twenty-five years since this was originally released that is until I chuckle at the cover art in the form it was originally intended to be.  I never was concerned about the fact that there was a lady dead or alive underwater but what a ghastly jumper they’re  wearing is that wrong of me? Anyway, any blues I might have had quickly blew away once the needle dropped.

Firstly I notice there are no bells and whistles added or bonus tracks etc which is cool because ‘Retrosexual’ set the bar for Last Great Dreamers and to tinker with the original formula would have been wrong so I’m pleased with that. Secondly, remastering is like the Harry Potter of Rock and Roll acts sort of the dark arts it’s not like remixing its more than that.  Making a record sonically better for record over CD or fit for radio is a whole dark art and once the needle drops on ‘Chrome Tonic’ I’m taken back to a simpler time when rock and roll wasn’t so instant it was harder to find and you had to be in the club to get to know about the new bands and visit venues to catch support bands to see what was out there people seemed more committed to their cause and stumbling across this after reading a review wasn’t a disappointment at all.  The chorus and hook on ‘Chrome Tonic’ is still twenty-five years on such a rush and an instantly gratifying hook.  Bring it on.

I’ll fess up and admit the last time I played this record was when they released ’13 Floor Renegade’ to contrast and compare but I thoroughly enjoyed it then and I’ll admit now hearing the Acoustic vs Electric riff-a-rama on ‘Last Great Dreamer’ in all its trashy delivery is a beautiful thing.  What a tune! It drew from the ’70s glam through the mid-’80s Hanoi rocks years and beyond but it wasn’t just copying it was being inspired and inspiring and that’s the difference, top tune then and top tune now its lost none of its charm and class.

‘Save You’ was a bit tougher but mopped up what was a super strong opening three tracks. Some albums from years ago never live up to the memory I’m not on about your favourite albums that always stay with you but the ones that bubble under. ‘Paper Crown’ was always a beauty with its Bolan meets Bowie glamness with a welcome dose of Ian Hunter – this record should have been a popular hit that much is a tragedy.  I’m glad they are back and going strong and this wasn’t a one-off. They weren’t afraid to soften things like ‘Kings And Keepsakes’ alongside the out and out rockers like ‘Charlie’ and they could boogie-woogie as well like on ‘Only Crime’ and I always liked the Hanoi Rocks DNA that ran through ‘Streets Of Gold’.

Don’t take my word for it go and treat yourself and pick this one up on vinyl. If you’ve not heard it in a while then it’ll be a treat and if you’ve never heard the band then what are you waiting for?  Jump in ignore the tartan trews and platform boots they were never cool but the music is first class and ‘Retrosexual’ is the sound of a band living and loving it and pouring their heart and soul into the grooves of a great record, Buy it!

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Buy ‘Retrosexual’ 25th remastered edition Here

Author: Dom Daley

Terrorvision release video for ‘Our Christmas Song’

Terrorvision release video for ‘Our Christmas Song’

‘Our Christmas Song is a festive present to our fans, and anyone else with a love of the heady days of pop music, when the Christmas No.1 mattered and the main event on Christmas day was settling down to watch Top of the Pops with the last few segments of your chocolate orange, washed down with a cheeky swig of your Gran’s Snowball.’ exclaim Terrorvision

 

POP CULTURE SCHLOCK at RPM: Exhibit F – Another Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare

POP CULTURE SCHLOCK at RPM: Exhibit F – Another Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare

POP CULTURE SCHLOCK at RPM: Exhibit F – Another Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare

Roll up, roll up; get your hastily-typed feature on a long-forgotten piece of RnR history here! It’s good to be back among the virtual pages of RPM once again as I dust off another rocking relic from the Pop Culture Schlock archive for your reading pleasure. This month I make my first foray into the physical media section of said collection and, as you’re reading this, I’m speculating that you too love collections of physical media…

‘Twas a late Eighties afternoon when I found my hetero-life-mate, Chris Greaves (velvet- fingered axeman extraordinaire famed for his work with seminal acts such as Judgement, Gangland, Big Guns, and Gallini), wide-eyed at the news that ‘The Edge of Hell’ now graced the shelves at one of our many (now, sadly, long-lost) video shops. ‘The Edge of Hell’, to the uninitiated (not us, obviously), was the alternate title given to the UK video release of 1987’s ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’, one of two entries for director John Fasano in the (much too short) list of Eighties Heavy Metal Horror Movies – the following year’s Carmine Appice-starring Black Roses being the second. It was another name on the credits, transformed into a painted, muscle-bound warrior on the VHS cover art, that piqued the interest of us Eighties metal kids, however…

Jon Mikl Thor was the first Canadian to win both the Mr. Canada and Mr. USA bodybuilding titles. He was also the first Canadian to wrap a micstand around the neck of a pretend milkman live on UK Saturday morning children’s television show, No. 73. An infamous performance at the Marquee paved the way for Thor’s manly explosion over British pop culture – singles ‘Let the Blood Run Red’ and ‘Thundra on the Tundra’, plucked from 1985’s ‘Only the Strong’ long player, making a bicep-shaped dent in both the UK charts and consciousness – before North America caught on and he was cast in his first movie role; playing Thunderhead in Police Academy rip-off, ‘Recruits’. His next two movie roles are the ones that he is truly remembered for, though.

 

‘Zombie Nightmare’ starred Tia Carrere and Adam West and found Thor as a slain baseball player resurrected (via voodoo!) to avenge his death. The soundtrack featured Motörhead, Girlschool, Fist, and Virgin Steele and, as an indicator to the movie’s quality, it was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’, however, that really put Jon Mikl Thor on the movie map. Thor played John Triton – frontman of the band, Triton – who travelled to an isolated Canadian farmhouse to record some new music par excellence not knowing that said location was littered with demons! The twist at the end of the flick, as Satan himself (a big friggin’ ant thing – who knew?!) appeared, was that John Triton was in fact the archangel known as the Intercessor. Forget your Keyser Söze reveal – this is the real shit! Anyway, the Intercessor showed El Diablo the four corners of the farmhouse and a Heavy Metal Horror Icon was born. Seriously, you need the Synapse Films special edition DVD release of ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’ in your collection.

 

So, the Heavy Metal Horror Movie subgenre is woefully short of quality entrants. ‘Trick or Treat’, ‘Black Roses’, ‘Hard Rock Zombies’, ‘Rocktober Blood’, the Easy Action-featuring ‘Blood Tracks’, the Traci Lords-starring ‘Shock ‘em Dead’ are the essentials alongside ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’; wannabe flicks like ‘Death Metal Zombies’ and ‘After Party Massacre’ honoured to join them, nevergonnabe movies like ‘Queen of the Damned’ and ‘Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal’ desperate to be considered in the same cult movie circles as Sammi Curr, John Triton, and Billy “Eye” Harper. BUT, and it’s a big ol’ but, did you know that one of those notorious metal movies actually had a sequel that limped out into the ether almost two decades after the original movie’s release? Of course you didn’t because it was filmed straight to digital video, released straight to home video, and did as much business as The Wild Family’s album. That movie is, drum roll please, 2005’s ‘Intercessor: Another Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’.

 

Yes, RPM-people, a sequel to one of the most infamous rock-related movies of all time was released over a decade ago and hardly any of us knew about it. The shame!

 

In the so-bad-it’s-good stakes, ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’ is right up there with the classics. After importing ‘Intercessor: Another Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare’ from the States, paying way too much for it, and forcing myself to sit through it twice, I’m not even sure that it reaches the heights of just bad. It is, in fact, diabolical. But, as I learned from cribbing all John Waters’ writings, there is such a thing as good bad taste… and I needed to give my good bad tastebuds a treat that they wouldn’t forget in a hurry…

‘Intercessor: Another Rock ’n’ Roll Nightmare’ is a no-budget flick that makes Thor’s appearance on No. 73 look like Emmy Award-winning television. The late John Fasano got a producing credit, and as for acting credits – well, I’m sure every single one contravenes the Trade Descriptions Act. The plot revolves around a feud between Zompira, King of the Undead, and Mephisto, a dark sorcerer from the depths of Hell. A spell has allowed these miscreants to come to Earth in order to corrupt and devour the souls of the innocent. Caught up in all of this is Harry, a long-haired loner with a crutch, arm brace, and a penchant for drawing muscle-bound comic-book heroes. He has a crush on his neighbour, Julie, and keeps in contact with her via walkie-talkie. This was 2005, remember! He lives with his sewing-obsessed aunt and, POW, there’s a zombie attack where she gets turned, Julie gets abducted, and the world is in danger. I know this because I gave myself a migraine struggling to hear what the fuck was going on due to the movie’s terrible sound. Harry dresses up like a member of Raven – shoulder pads, gridiron helmet with ‘Tritons’ logo (tenuous link to previous flick) – and starts offing the undead with his crutch. I’ve actually made this all sound quite good. DON’T trust me on this one!

 

Meanwhile, a muscle-bound loner in a Man from Del Monte hat duffs up a rude customer in a coffee shop – “I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee…” – and you’ll never guess who it is. It’s John Triton, the Intercessor; cursed to wander the Earth as a mortal! Cursed, that is, until Harry is offed and his NFL helmet morphs into the Intercessor’s Crimson Glory-esque face mask. Now, bedecked with cape and mask, and with a weapon that looks like a dog-dick-dildo, the Intercessor is ready to take on all nefarious ne’er-do-wells! He keeps the dogs away by fighting a vicious canine (complete with ludicrous dubbed-on human doing dog impression sound) – “Stop hound!” – then gets attacked by a tree branch. He takes on some am-dram witches – “I never wanted to hit a woman but… thou is not!” – and gets involved in some chopsocky fighting that makes vintage British Saturday afternoon wrestling look like the Bolshoi Ballet.

The special effects look like they came from a shitty iPhone app – not unlike a video I made years ago that showed Adam Bomb getting blown up by laser missiles as he shredded onstage at the Doll’s House in Abertillery – and, even though I have a penchant for bad movies, I struggled to get through this one mentally unscathed. I suggest that the only way to truly enjoy this one is via a house party where Absinthe imbibing and marker-sniffing is rife. You’re all invited – Adam Bomb is playing. Bring a pretend missile.

 

I’ll be back next month, souring the festive season with another nostalgia-driven column. Feel free to join me – I’m sure that I’ll luck out soon and one of these articles will actually be interesting! Remember, look them in the eyes, knock them down to size, no-one must oppose the Metal Avenger…

 

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