If you prefer the US re-dubbed version of Mad Max, George Miller’s 1979 post-apocalyptic vision of the future, then hit the homepage button now, because C.O.F.F.I.N are about as Australian as every millimetre of Mick “Two Fingers” Simpson’s beer belly. Just take one look at the front cover of ‘Australia Stops’, the band’s fifth album to date, and there’s no disputing these madmen from the Northern Beaches of Sydney really do suffer for their art. I mean who has a mullet in 2023? Well, other than the members of Rough Gutts, obviously. (Ha!)

Yeah, these four guys are like a Cosmic Psychos and Asteroid B-612 jam band playing Bea Smith’s birthday bash at Boggo Road Jail, that’s how bloody Australian they are, and they sound totally bloody bonza too! Just take one listen to the album’s opening track (and lead video) ‘Give Me A Bite’ and tell me I’m wrong.  The opening guitar licks of this track slap you straight across the face before vocalist and drummer Ben Portnoy (no relation…I hope) literally spits the song’s lyrics in it too. There’s something very Hip Priests-like about the “spit in my wounds” refrain too, and that’s certainly no bad thing, eh pop pickers? 

I must admit that when the band released their ‘Children In Finland Fighting In Norway’ (think about it) album a few back, I was already balls deep into a playlist featuring the likes of Stiff Richards, Private Function and Civic, so that record’s dozen tracks kind of passed me by, but here in 2023 with no such distractions to take my (bonk) eye off the C.O.F.F.I.N shaped prize, I’m all about the mullet maaaaan.

‘Cut You Off’ reminds me of just how great Airbourne used to be before they recorded the same album four times over, mixing the Rose Tattoo riffage with Motorhead attitude to absolute perfection. ‘City Sun’ meanwhile appears to be an ode to a man with the head of a horse, so I’m always going to love it aren’t I?

‘Keep It Dark’ and ‘Lovers Leash’ quickly follow and continue this four to the floor approach before ‘Beasts’ chugs its harp beating black heart past the record’s midway point, and I can’t help but think of Stevie Young’s old band Starfighters and their classic debut album every time I hear this one.   

For the second half of ‘Australia Stops’ the album’s title track introduces us to a further five song knuckle sandwich of punch drunk rock ‘n’ roll, the highlight of which (for me anyway) is the blistering one – two of ‘Through The Sewer’ and ‘Faceless’ a fine duo of tunes for the children of Generation Z to truly lose their shit over, just like they have been to the likes of Amyl & The Sniffers and The Chats.

Hotter than a rollin’ dice, C.O.F.F.I.N will hopefully be back soon to rule the roads of the UK (they did a run of shows back at the start of the summer) and promote ‘Australia Stops’ to the max, In the meantime we can all get excited about this mighty fine record hitting the record shop racks on September 15^th.

Play it loud folks, PLAY IT LOUD!

You can pre-order ‘Australia Stops’ via the following link; http://coffin.lnk.to/AustraliaStops

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Author: Johnny Hayward